kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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