You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
