But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
