I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
