Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
