i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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