Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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