closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
