You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
