You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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