Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pants are for mortals
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
