i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
