i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
