I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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