I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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