I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
