...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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