She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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