whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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