that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
