she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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