I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
