I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize