Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
