Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
