I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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