smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
