Can i not drive my cunt home
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
