ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
