The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Randomize
