Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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