i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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