I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
