i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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