it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
