so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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