literally had 100 drinks last night.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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