The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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