to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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