I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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