ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
