You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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