That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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