I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
