Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
