You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
