i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The adults are the big ones right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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