Your face is a jimmy john
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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