just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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