I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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