if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
