Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
