I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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