Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
