I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
