And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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