evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
