nut hugger
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
