Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's like heaven, but drunker
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
