bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
