You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
