if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
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You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Still dying that you shit outside
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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