Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have aggressive nipples.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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