thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
