Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They took my balls.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
